Don't be sorry for being in love
by Stella296
Summary: Blair's emails to Dan. It's NOT about romance it's about saving a friendship that this show needed and still needs. True and pure. Set after Season 5 finale.


**A/N: I loved the Season Finale except for one thing: The way they just let Dair ditch from a cliff on rock bottom. He's been there for him when she was broken after the accident and baby. And when someone posted the subjects of the emails, I went into my personal Jane Austen mood and decided to write the emails as I think Blair had.**

**My dear Chair readers, you must not be upset with me. You know I love Chair but this had to be done because Dair fans have a right to be pissed and I wanted to give them a little bit of hope too.**

**Thanks for reading, please review too.**

xoxo

Blair sighed as she sat on the huge bed in the hotel. They'd gambled all night long to get more money for Chuck and they were successful. Now he was off with Jack to cash it in and somehow plot against Bart. She took her laptop and checked her emails. Still no answer from Dan. Blair bit her bottom lip and scanned through the emails she'd sent him so far.

**_1. Read ASAP_**

_Dan,_

_ I know you must be furious with me but please take my call and let me explain it to you. Maybe we can meet and have coffee to talk this out? You're still my best friend. _

_Blair_

**_2. Re: Please return my calls?_**

_It's been three days now and you still won't pick up when I call. How much longer is this supposed to go on. We need to talk. I don't want to lose my friend._

**_3. Re: I'm abou to send Dorota to Brooklyn..._**

_Dan, _

_really now. Could you please act grown up and pick your phone up? I called you at least a hundred times. This won't get any easier if you continue to avoid me. Last night I stood in front of your house in Brooklyn but I couldn't bring myself up to go upstairs because I was too scared that you wouldn't open. Come on, be the bigger person and call me. I can't visit you, I'm on my way to Paris with my mother, but I would if I could. _

_Blair._

**_4. Re: There's a reason for this_**

_Dan, _

_you must not be mad at me. I ask you not to. Actually, I have no right to ask you for anything but please, if you find it in your heart, call me or text me or email me back so I know there's still a chance for us to be friends. My mother offered me to take over her company so I had to go with her to Paris to finalize that deal. I swear, I would have been in Brooklyn to meet you otherwise already. _

_Blair._

**_5. Re: Read this!_**

_I'm sorry. I really am. Just, please, give me a life sign so I know I don't have to worry about you too. I have to go to Monte Carlo for a couple of days now but I hope we can meet when I'm back in New York._

**_6. Re: You don't know whole story_**

_Dan, _

_that piece GossipGirl posted wasn't the entire page of my diary. It didn't show the part in which I described how much I liked being with you. It's just that I can't let go of Chuck as much as I try to. I need him as my soulmate and the man on my side, but I need you too as my best friend and the one person I can truly talk about movies and art and everything that interests me. I get that you think I toyed with you. But I didn't. I had feelings for you. I told my mother the other day that you make me feel safe, something I never had with Chuck. But what I have with him keeps pulling me back because he has my heart, even when I didn't want him to have it. That doesn't change the fact that you have been there for me in the most difficult time of my life and I'll always honor that. I ask you to not hate me because I can't control my feelings. I love Chuck. I'm not sorry for that. I'm only sorry that I hurt you in the process to figure it out and face it.  
_

_Blair._

**_7. Re: Dan, call me_**

_I miss my friend.  
_

**_8. Re: There's an explanation_**

_Dan,_

_if my mail from the other day wasn't good enough of an explanation – here comes another try._

_I loved being with you, I just don't love you the way I love Chuck. That doesn't mean that you don't have a place in my heart. I can't stand how things are between us right now and I wish I could make it go away. I almost said that I wish I could do a time wrap but that wouldn't be true. I enjoyed every minute with you but I missed Chuck and it wouldn't been fair to either of us if I kept the relationship with you going when I knew it would lead nowhere. I hope you'll find one day the person you care about like that too. Even if it's Serena. __I hope that we'll be able to figure this out and be good friends again some day soon._  


_Your friend Blair._

**_9. Re: Email me back?_**

_I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. __ Please don't hate me for it._

She knew she'd meet Dan one day again. She just hoped that it wouldn't be a run in or something equally casual. Dan was her friend. Chuck was her love. She knew that now and she hoped more than ever to never lose either of them again.

_'Don't ever be sorry for being in love.'_

That had been Dan's first line after they left the hospital at the day Cece died, when they started dating. Too bad he couldn't take his own advice.

xoxo


End file.
